Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize