I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I smell stomach acid.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
So apparently I’m into choking now
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize