my mouth tastes like poor choices
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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