ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
