he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
