hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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