Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
