If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wish i was in the wii world.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
