Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
