Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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