He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
