Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
The struggles of a small town man whore
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
