Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i think i have two assholes
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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