Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
