his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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