Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
