i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
