Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize