Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
