With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
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