I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Can Purell be used as lube?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
