I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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