I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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