HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
