I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Randomize
