He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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