Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
