Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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