I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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