I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
