someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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