I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
