Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
