You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
