please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
