Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
