WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize