Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
