Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
