Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize