Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
