I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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