farters have to be the big spoon...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
