I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
