all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
