and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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