Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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