Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
