U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
