"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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