man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
