I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Well I just put wine in my tea
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
