Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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