shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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