His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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