is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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