You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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