I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize