You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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