just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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